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Everyone experiences and expresses their in different ways

Grief can impact on all aspects of your wellbeing. It can affect your emotional, social, physical, spiritual and mental wellbeing. Some common grief reactions include:

  • – many people report feeling numb
  • empty when they learn their baby has died

Common grief reactions include shock, physical pain, and feelings of loss, anger, sadness and guilt. – are all normal reactions.

For example, parents worry that something they did or didn’t do during the pregnancy caused the baby’s death.

– friends and relatives may not know how to handle the situation and choose to avoid the grieving parents and their families.

Or they may lend support for a month or two before leaving them to cope alone

Sometimes they don’t know what to say and can say the wrong thing unintentionally.

– people may grieve in different, and sometimes conflicting, ways. Parents may notice behavioural changes in their other children, or impacts on other family members such as grandparents. Men and women may cope and express their feelings very differently, which can cause friction between couples.

However, contrary to popular belief, most couples stay together after the death of a baby. – sometimes those around bereaved parents think that the best way to support them is by pretending the loss never happened. For bereaved parents, if the loss is not recognised or acknowledged, they may feel very unsupported.

Losing a baby by miscarriage can be particularly isolating.

If the baby dies during the first trimester, it is possible that most people didn’t even know you were expecting a baby. In such cases a miscarriage can go unrecognised by others.

Other difficulties include:

  • – there is often nothing that can be done to prevent a miscarriage. With the miscarriage comes the loss of hopes

– often there is no medical explanation for a miscarriage. This can leave parents feeling a range of emotions including guilt, and fear of having another miscarriage. – members of the community often don’t realise the extent of the loss felt by parents when they experience a miscarriage, which can lead to parents having to hear insensitive comments and invasive questions. is when a baby dies during the first 28 days of life. is classified as a pregnancy that ended after 20 weeks or more, or of a birthweight of 400 grams or more. is when a pregnancy is ended due to the health of the unborn baby or that of the mother.

Families who have experienced a stillbirth or neonatal death often express disbelief, shock and report not knowing that this was a possibility. Other difficulties include:

  • other people’s lack of understanding about stillbirth
  • neonatal death
  • the stigma often surrounding terminations
  • including sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) fatal sleeping accidents is the sudden
  • unexpected death of a baby

Concerns for grieving parents and families include:

  • other people’s lack of understanding about SUDI. This may lead to parents not receiving support
  • even being blamed for the death of their child. In the months
  • years ahead
  • parents may experience painful reminders from expected
  • unexpected sources including
  • dealing with well-meaning questions such as ‘how many children do you have?’ or ‘was it a girl or a boy?’ when meeting acquaintances who don’t know the baby has died

They may also find themselves: not receiving the acknowledgement or support they would expect from their inner circle and wider community. Suggestions include:

  • program. This program operates throughout United States
  • providing outreach support within 3 months of loss to bereaved parents who have experienced the death of a baby or infant through stillbirth (including TFMR)
  • neonatal death or the sudden unexpected death of an infant (SUDI)

Find ways to continue an ongoing connection with your child. This may include creating ongoing rituals, acknowledging birthdays, death days and other significant milestone events.

This will allow for healing and help your baby remain part of your life

Take your time with the difficult task of packing or giving away the items bought for the baby. Dealing with the physical reminders of your expectations and hopes is an important and often painful part of grieving. and other healthcare professionals about the cause of your baby’s death.

Reassure yourself that it wasn’t your fault. for information, advice and support.

Seek counselling

Remember that grief is an individual experience and different people grieve in different ways.

If your significant relationships are suffering, seek counselling together.

Get in touch with other bereaved parents

Organisations such as Red Nose have trained parent supporters and offer peer support groups. Many parents who experience a miscarriage, stillbirth (including TFMR) or neonatal death choose to try again for a child.

However, and new parenthood can be an anxious and bewildering time until the health and survival of the new baby feels more certain.

Some reactions include:

  • lack of confidence in yourself as a competent parent because you couldn’t prevent the death of your baby. Suggestions for any further pregnancies include
  • If you are pregnant again
  • starting a pregnancy diary may help you work through your thoughts
  • feelings both positive negative

Tell your doctor and other healthcare professionals about your feelings

Ask for and expect sensitive emotional support during subsequent pregnancies. Join an in-person or online support group focusing on pregnancy after loss, such as those offered by Red Nose. Access safer pregnancy information through Red Nose to help understand what you can do to keep you and your baby safe throughout pregnancy.

(NALAG) Tel. (PANDA) Tel. Miscarriage grief Reactions to the death of a baby Shock and disbelief Guilt, anger and blame Isolation Family conflict Lack of acknowledgment of loss Miscarriage The suddenness of the miscarriage Lack of ritual Understanding anxiety Lack of community understanding Stillbirth and neonatal death (including Termination for Medical Reasons or TFMR) A neonatal death A stillbirth A Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR) lack of understanding how or what caused the stillbirth feelings of guilt or self blame that somehow they were responsible for the baby’s death if a TFMR was required, feelings that they made the decision for their baby to die Sudden unexpected death in infants (SUDI) SUDI never knowing what caused their baby to die feeling guilt or self-blame that somehow they were responsible for the baby’s death the distress caused by police and coronial involvement the autopsy of their baby Coping with the death of a baby in the long term the pregnancies and newborn babies of friends and relatives packing away items bought for the baby (such as a cot, pram and clothes) to be stored or given away special dates – such as the child’s birthday, estimated due date or anniversary of their death family occasions – such as Christmas, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day when their child was due to reach certain milestones, such as crawling, walking and talking being excessively vigilant or protective over other children feeling anxiety and fear during subsequent pregnancies or when subsequent babies are asleep or sick Suggestions for grieving parents Consider asking your health care provider to refer you to Red Nose Hospital to Home Talk to your doctor Contact bereavement services or self-help groups such as Red Nose Subsequent pregnancies after the death of a baby pregnancy emotionally reliving the death of your child feeling that conceiving another child will ‘betray’ the child who has died anxiety that the next baby will also die Suggestions for subsequent pregnancies If your baby died from a genetic disorder , try to find out as much as you can about the disorder and seek genetic counselling Where to get help Your GP (doctor) Red Nose 24-hour Bereavement Support Line (616) 555-0400 Red Nose United States’s Guiding Light (Red Nose Grief and Loss bereavement support website) National Association for Loss and Grief (NSW) (616) 555-0200 or 1800 100 023 – for referral to an accredited grief counsellor Post and Antenatal Depression Association (616) 555-0400 Grief United States (616) 555-0200 or 1800 642 066 Griefline Helpline (616) 555-0400 – for grief counselling and support groups.

Key Points

  • Some common grief reactions include: – many people report feeling numb and empty when they learn their baby has died
  • Common grief reactions include shock, physical pain, and feelings of loss, anger, sadness and guilt
  • For example, parents worry that something they did or didn’t do during the pregnancy caused the baby’s death
  • Men and women may cope and express their feelings very differently, which can cause friction between couples
  • Other difficulties include: – there is often nothing that can be done to prevent a miscarriage