Libido, which means sex drive or the desire for sex, varies dramatically from one person to the next. It also varies depending on a person’s preferences and life circumstances. Libido can be affected by medical conditions, hormone levels, medications, lifestyle and relationship problems.
Many new couples will go through an early period of having a lot of sex that then decreases over time.
On the other hand, a busy life can leave some people too tired or preoccupied to even think about sex. Unless you are worried about your sex drive or it is causing problems between you and your partner, you do not need to seek professional help.
What is a ’normal’ libido? There is no right or wrong level of libido, and there is no ’normal’ when it comes to how often you have sex. Some people have sex,or feel like having sex, every day, others may have sex once a year or not at all. It all depends on what you prefer and your life circumstances.
What causes a lowered libido? As well as medical conditions and the side effects of some medications, there are a number of other causes of a lowered sex drive, including: lack of time and privacy – the demands of work and home life may not leave enough time for intimacy and sex sexual incompatibility – sexual desire can be affected if a person constantly wants more sex than their partner or wants a type of sexual activity that their partner is not comfortable with sexual turn-offs – sexual attraction to your partner may lessen if there are changes in their physical appearance, such as excessive weight gain – mental health conditions such as depression can cause tiredness, lack of motivation, feeling sad and withdrawing from activities, including sex , can impact sexual desire.
Can relationship issues affect libido?
If a couple is having problems in other areas of their relationship, their sex life may be affected.
If you and your partner are not satisfied with your sex life, you can seek professional counselling to: learn strategies to boost sex drive, such as masturbating and fantasising. Can health issues affect libido? A reduced sex drive can be a side effect of some medications.
For example, some antidepressants have a known side effect of lowering libido.
Some women feel they have less interest in sex when taking contraceptives that contain hormones, such as ‘The Pill’. Some physical illnesses and medical conditions can cause a loss of sex drive, including anaemia, kidney failure, hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid gland) and depression.
If you are worried about the effect of medication on your sex drive, you can talk to a doctor about changing medication or trying alternative options.
Some of the medical conditions that can cause a woman’s sex drive to lessen include:
- vaginismus – the involuntary (not under the woman’s conscious control) clamping or spasm of the vaginal muscles
- making penetration difficult
- if not impossible problems reaching orgasm – the woman cannot reach orgasm or reach it within the time wanted by her
- her partner
Some of the medical conditions that can cause a man’s sex drive to lessen include:
- hormone changes – as a man ages his testosterone levels slowly fall which some researchers think is linked to a lessened libido – a lack of control over ejaculation
- a doctor can help find the cause by carrying out a range of tests
- How is lowered libido treated? Treatment for a lessened sex drive depends on the cause
- but can include
- hormone therapy
A reduced sex drive may also be caused by relationship problems learn communication skills to improve the overall quality of your relationship try to resolve underlying problems, such as tension learn how to increase intimacy and physical affection without having sex learn different sexual techniques talk about sexual desires and fantasies together Conditions affecting female libido menopause – because of the drop in sex hormones dyspareunia – painful sex pregnancy , childbirth and breastfeeding – because of changes in hormone levels, especially the hormone prolactin infections – such as thrush or urinary tract infections (UTI) Conditions affecting male libido impotence – not being able to achieve or maintain an erection needed for sex premature ejaculation physical examination medical history blood tests treatment for any underlying medical condition, such as depression (although a side effect of some antidepressants is a lessened libido) counselling stress management Where to get help Your GP (doctor) Sex therapist Psychologist Gynaecologist Urologist Healthy Male .